It’s a celebration of delicious Italian food and Da Chicago Bears, even though it’s a soccer field and features AC Milan vs. AS Roma. We did eat it while watching Da Bears beat the Philadelphia Eagles, so it turned out to be a lucky charm. Luckily our sweaters remained spotless! Here’s the fly-by:
In the words of the great Warner Wolf — let’s go to the video tape!
- Field – Homemade Lasagna with spinach puree pitch.
- Line Markers – Béchamel sauce, one of the mother sauces of French cuisine but used liberally throughout the Italian cuisine. It is made by either by spanking scalded milk into a white flour-butter roux, or by leaving mayonnaise out in the sun.
- Players and Benches – Barese sausages from Caputo’s Market in Bloomingdale, Illinois.
- Field goal uprights – Tortellini skewers and breadsticks
- Stadium lighting brought to you by fennel stalks
- Towers – foccaccia rounds, Cousin Lorenzo’s homemade wine
- Blimp is made of arancini (fried rice balls), with a cherry tomato light
- Soccer Ball – Bocconcini (fresh mini-mozzarella balls) spotted with balsamic vinegar
- Fans – in the stands, you’ve got the bourgeousie represented by bruschetta, grilled sausages (hot, mild, and Barese), Lupini beans, green & black olives, and sweet roasted red & green peppers. Halfway up, you’ve got meatballs, meat sauce, roasted chestnuts, mixed nuts, panzarotti (fried calzones), arancini (fried rice balls), and tangerines. The proletarians sitting up in the cheap seats are hardly as workmanlike as their tickets: [Tray #1 - Olive Oil-brushed Crostini for Bruschetta & Antipasto, Rolls for Sausage/Meatball sandwiches; Tray #2 - Focaccia Bread with tomatoes; Tray #3 - Antipasto - Volpi Genoa Salami, Sharp Provolone, Caputo's Bocconcini (Fresh Mini-Mozzarellas), Mortadella; Tray #4 - Dolce - Cannoli and biscotti from Italian Bakery in Addison, IL (yup, that's the actual name of the bakery), Prosciutto-wrapped cantaloupe.]
She’s a strong one, through and through. The use of fennel stalks connects gloriously with our inner children, much like a 7-yard swing pass to Matt Forte. We applaud Team Stadio’s ability to properly represent fans of all socioeconomic levels, from the owners of factors of production down at field level, all the way on up. And we’ve waiting since the beginning of time (to be precise, July 2010) for a proper blimp in this equation.
Not a football field? A name not ending in -ium? A team owned by rascal and perennial laughingstock Silvio Berlusconi? Not a worry. Slip these guys a five!
Grade: ***** (5 stars)
